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The Milkmen are a society of celestial beings of unimaginable power who control the progression of the world and the Universe through various, usually hidden means; such as the puppet society of the Illuminati. Despite being the primary arbiters of reality, very few know of (and even fewer believe in) their existence or even what actions they perform; with notable exceptions including Thomas "Turtle" W. (who is possibly their creator and maintainer), Erin T. (as she is betrothed to Turtle and is herself an honorary Milkman), and David Alexander Vuich (who simply was able to open his eyes, sheeple).

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